I’m a little weird. I’ve been told that I make a lot of funny faces but people like my energy. Probably because I eat a lot of sugar.
Lucky for me–I don’t look like what I eat (or what I’ve been through)…
If you’ve found me, you’ve probably heard that I helped somebody feel better about something. I like doing that. I like talking with people about their life and how they got to be where and who they are. It bring me a lot of joy to help folks unpack the “stuff” they carry around and make sense of it all.
I’m humbled that you’re considering me as your therapist.
Through my experience, I have learned that there is no single way to develop, grow, or heal. We can only be teachable, have compassion for self and others and do our best to live as authentically as possible. I’d be a liar if I told you that coming up with an entire page about who I am, (that is appealing) was easy. I have a lot of lived experience in the things I specialize in now—anxiety, poor self-image, and managing stress and life transitions as a young adult. It takes a lot of work to practice what I preach, consistently.
We’ll spend our time talking about you as a person, not as a diagnosis. Your life, your friends, your career, what inspires you, and what keeps you up at night. It might feel different than what you expected because people in movies talk about themselves as a diagnosis. You are always more than a label or your worst experience. We’ll find hope by looking at the different ways change is possible, starting with the therapeutic relationship. Research shows that the best therapists are the ones that use their relationship as the vehicle for change–they don’t focus exclusively on interventions and techniques (but I’m very organized, so I have those, too).
What Does Therapy with Me Look Like?
I don’t model perfectionism. I’m actually very awkward and pretty predictable. I use humor, self-disclosure (when it’s appropriate), and I like asking why X, Y, and Z were important to you. I’ll be a broken-record about empowerment, self-love, and I’m not afraid to talk about the taboo. People are often afraid to talk about things like suicide, trauma, sexuality, etc. because we carry so much shame around them. I try not cater to shame. I cater to real live people with real backstories and there’s nothing you can say that I can’t hear.
How Do I Know We’ll be a Good Fit?
I‘ve struggled with authenticity—doing the things that leave me fulfilled and loving the body I’m in— and chances are, you have too. Most of us know the pressure of living up to the Wonder Woman (and even Superman) standard. Well, Wonder Woman is cool, but I think it’s even cooler to be everyday brave. According to the Irish origin, my full name means Brave Little Rock, but I’ve always felt anything but brave. I’ve always felt more like an “anxious pebble”. To live up to the name and believe I could be brave, I’ve spent my young adulthood channeling courage and finding sincere motivation, to live and love (myself and others) authentically. Now I can claim to be a Brave Little Rock, because I know that brave is when I live and love genuinely and wholeheartedly.
I’m also a woman of color with a human body.
I’ve worn my hair both natural and straightened. I’ve been happy with my exterior and I’ve struggled with self-esteem and body-image. I’ve been told I have a nice “complexion”, that I got “the good hair” and “the good skin”. I’ve also been told that what I’ve got is not good enough but I’m also trying too hard. “If you only _______, you could’ve been a model!” Gee thanks. I’ve been complemented and critiqued for it all. But when you live in someone else’s box, you are bound to feel trapped. Therapy with me is talking a lot about what keeps us stuck in conflicting versions of who we want to be.
Being a woman is hard enough, much less having to be the “perfect” version of one all the time. My journey into self-discovery means I’ve hated myself and lived with a lot of discomfort trying to please other people, but now, I own the comfort level and I take it one moment at a time. And I still make mistakes.
In the year 2020, it seems radical to love yourself. I feel like when people advocate for self-love, they are pioneering a new concept because we’ve become so afraid of what it means to to fall short. It often takes repetition before we can believe it is okay to be whatever we want to be, make mistakes, and still be allowed happiness.